Beyond the Box

“Now that’s thinking outside the box.” – He said.

“I don’t just think outside the box, I was born outside the box!” – Part of a conversation I had with a sales manager a couple of years ago. 

Many a time I come across that worldly and over-used expression, “thinking outside the box” which is something quite an akin condition of the mind of an Aspie as well as those who think in inventive terms, the original thinker per se. When growing up and remaining undiagnosed for some 35 years with that typical feeling of being somewhat outcast or alien toward those who surrounded me my inventiveness and original thinking remained throughout as it does today.

However, I often considered that many who utilise the sentence, “he/she/it thinks outside the box” do so without any form of actual analysis toward the environment of mind that actually is, outside the box. When we consider ‘environment’ one is often subjected to pictures or thoughts’ processes of the physicality as opposed to the more applicable consideration toward an eternal vastness of thought and thought origin, the investigation original thinking originates from.

For me, thinking outside the box is essentially a thought construct seeding liberty. Liberty to me is to locate an independent path or paths outside of common societal mindsets indigenous to ones’ own perspective of freedom whilst remaining comparable to other’s self created entrapments and knowing with evidence that you are not like them. Freedom from internal boxed constraints or more often polluting factors such as, societal mindsets engineered by the vacuous existence that is herd mentality, oh yes, the herd mentalist, the plodding sentient humanoid so easily led by media, bought by politicians and subjected to by corporations (because the product must be bought, right?). It’s little wonder that original thinkers are reviled by the schoolyard bullies, feared by employers and ignored by politicians. Makes one wonder as to why this is? Doesn’t it? Or can you?

Always lead by example is what I lend toward being the best methodology of teaching, I wish to quash societal mindsets as these to me these are prison bars of fertility of the soil that exists in the great expanse beyond the box.  

Trial By Media

The face-palm inducing arguments I have had with persons who obtain their evidence from the suggestion of the newspaper / “news” broadcast astounds me to the intensity of their beliefs born of nothing more than sensualist type and literal band wagon magnetism.

For instance, say I come across a friend who introduces me to their son and I greet them by...

“Hey rockstar!!” Excitedly and ruffle his hair then a high five. Seems innocent enough,

Now the, err, “news” version.

“Whilst roaring at him calling him names, VisionGhost accosted a child and placed his hand upon the child’s person.”

Because of course, that’s what happened right? I have observed many who would read the latter and immediately have a drop down menu to conjure up all sorts of ideas yet only pertaining to one, that I am violent toward children as so many always choose the most extreme of all the options when in fact there exists only the one, the one the “news” wants you to believe.

I see it happened when say, a male celebrity is reported in the “news” by the story stating,

“Police were summoned to a call of a domestic disturbance by male celebrity’s wife!”

Immediately - male celebrity is a wife beating scumbag, he’s the enemy, online abuse ensues, facebook groups setup, calls for male celebrity’s instant removal from all sponsorship and so and so on and so on, turns out it was the wife who called because she was locked out and male celebrity who was watching a horror movie has the TV turned up too loud and didn’t even know she was there who her husband was being attacked.

Marriage

Here in Ireland we are facing a referendum, and the question is, should the electorate allow same sex couples to marry? Vote Yes or No.

I got asked, which way am I going to vote and my reply was simple, I’m abstaining from voting.

Why? Because I simply cannot apply enforcement of a notion one way or the other toward something in which I have absolutely no belief in, none whatsoever. Marriage to me is an utter farce; some maybe offended by that but let’s examine why I think this way.

Remember I mentioned liberty? Well here’s a thing, I believe in seeking liberty and freedom of the one in as much a capacity as humanly and socially as well as legally available, which you have to admit is becoming increasingly harder and harder to locate in this modern era; there exists approximately 7.01 billion humans on Earth, so if I was for pure argument sakes assume that an exact 50% split of them are female (I am heterosexual) is available for a potential relationship, obviously excluding those who are lesbian, not of legal age, not attracted to me or vice versa, other mitigating circumstances, so on and so forth, I could very well have foundered the potential for human coupling with millions and millions of females.

Now, going further, I believe in consensual non-monogamy, which in short means, allowing consent for your significant other to engage in sexual relationship with other people, be it regular contact or simply one night stands, etc.  Why? because we as a species are actually designed this way, males are meant to (spread the wild oats) inseminate as many females as possible, so, being that we have become the most advanced sexualised species on Earth this opens up a much wider playing field for, you guessed it? The ultimate freeform of human pleasure, yes sex, the greatest method to burn calories, enhance your immune system, create closeness and relieve stress, relieve depression, enhance confidence, oh the list of benefits goes on and on.

Furthermore, divorce, the most expensive outlay of any couple’s union is foundered in its collapse (which you must admit is somewhat ironic), keeping divorce lawyers rich and the courts with something to do not to mention the incredible emotional hardship, stress, maintenance payments, who gets the kids, who gets the house, blah. blah, blah.

Look, it is not my intention to doom all marriages to hell but quite frankly, when I examine the bigger picture I think with all the above considered, I shall remain as I am, a single man in a loving long term relationship who is free as is my partner to consent to the practice of mating without insemination for the sheer pleasure of it as we are designed to do without the contract.

The deeper reason I think this way is because, no one, repeat, no one to me is an object. Just because I used the word “relationship” does that somehow mean there is this invisible contract of ownership that somehow I can control what one does with her body of her own free will. It’s none of my damn business quite frankly. Yes I admit, having a sexual relationship with another outside his/her partnership born out of deception is indeed cheating, having consented sex with another which is in turn consented to happened by all parties is the jackpot.

Euthanasia 

This blog is becoming a bit longer than I had intended so I shall end on this last subject.

I was laying awake in bed a few weeks back unable to sleep and full of thoughts (yes you can imagine I do that quite a lot) when the idea of human assisted suicide entered into my mind and after much consideration a very clear and present observation of a stupidity occurred to me.

Personally I would support euthanasia in certain circumstances, in relation to quality of life being ultimately diminished to near nothingness as well as an incurable & terminal condition causing prolonged suffering until the inevitable end.

But what never ceases to bemuse me is how the courts, medical practice and those who oppose euthanasia are seemingly blind to the occurring knock on affect of their decision.

So patient A is dying, their condition is incurable they awake to a horrible daily cycle of suffering, horrific indignance and of course, an unbearable amount of pain despite the morphine drip. Currently we would allow these poor souls to go on meaninglessly suffering day after day, watch them waste away and eventually mortality thus takes them.

So here’s the thought, in that time, a country’s health system has spent perhaps, thousands and thousands on their “treatment” to prolong this pointless escapade when simultaneously Patient B has occurred a condition in which a cure has been found and a therapy is workable to either treat or rid completely and return Patient B to pain free normality but is turned away to die and why? Because the treatment sought is too expensive; now I don’t about you, but that picture is an embellishment of insanity.

Summarising, keep terminally ill patients alive until inevitable death at the cost of millions yet turn away curable patients because their treatment is too expensive. Please tell me I am not the only one that can see what is most seriously wrong with that picture?

Pharmaceutical industries as they say, don’t create cures, they create customers, makes one wonder.

Thank you for reading.

VisionGhost

Sex & Sexuality

Sex & Sexuality

This has been something I’ve wanted to write for a very long time but never really knew where to actually begin, as so much comes to mind, so logically I came up with the idea of the start to finish approach. This might take some time, I mean after all, who can actually remember when their pubes started growing from bald to full bush, anyone? No because one day you awoke and you suddenly required a Flymo...

For sex is something I take EXTREMELY seriously, I can’t even stand people making a joke out of sex, it’s immature and tedious in my opinion. Too many people do not grasp the greatness and wonder of the physical condition in a moment of an ultimate and absolute amalgamation.

As an Aspie I have differing views on most things simply because NT’s, herd around whatever sounds or feels good, often making a joke out of it or apply negative sentiment to something they cannot fathom or have the intellect to do so; however, I, as most Aspies do, I went the other way and wanted to look into this deeper, as a result I’ve done/seen things I regret but I’ve also enjoyed many more positive experiences and continue to do so. 

Where are we going wrong?...

Think about it, when did sex become truly liberated, in truth, it hasn’t, the “revolution” started in the late 1960’s and progressed happily throughout the 1970’s, the whole free love thing before becoming glamorous in the 80’s, utterly exploited in the 90’s and now here we are in the modern 21^st century frankly confused and disorientated; we can’t even teach it properly in schools.

For one thousand, nine hundred and sixty odd year’s, religion, church and politics had a choke hold on sex. A bare ankle would put a priest into cardiac arrest and then the police would arrest the owner of said bare ankle for “indecent exposure,” oh sure, then arrest every baby ever born naked, we are most beautiful in our skin but fashion screwed that up too, but use sex appeal to sell their attire, somewhat there is a sense of irony in that.

So now here we are, sex is projected to the eyes, dumped into the cerebral cortex and into ones right hand; but speaketh, doeth and heareth of this is still a sin. We are albeit more liberated but frankly confused. A child can access a half naked Rihanna squealing about bondage but we cannot teach a child the sentiments of sexuality in the school he/she attends.

I think the problem is, that the revolution and demand for sexual liberation is happening far too fast and is far too powerful for church or politician to control, thus we have now, not a revolution, but an all out cold war on sex.  On one hand we have parents who come from a generation of control who can now fuck to all hours but are terrified of the thought of their offspring doing the same thing; a media that exploit sex every minute of every day while church and politicians tell us it’s wrong to view it but give free licence for its broadcast while schools treat the actual weapon against this confusion, which is of course, knowledge and education, as if their handling an unstable nuclear device.

When I was in my late teens, this debate about sex education in schools was brought up on the radio, they interviewed a 14yr old boy who said and I quote...

“They teach you how to do it but they don’t teach about all the pervy stuff!”  I thought to myself, that 14yr old kid has just hit the nail on the head.  

What do schools actually teach... say this in a mocking French accent and you’ll get the picture...

“When daa penus is ewect put on da condom and insert into da vadina, wocking motioon between da partner;, dis weel cos ejaack-a-lation, widwaw penus gripping condom!”  Oh please, that isn’t sex, that’s a ridiculously clumsy way to prevent unwanted breeding. 

In education, we need to say it like it is, which is when my ten year old daughter asks me what something is, she gets an honest answer; and for those who say that’s wrong and the god fearing church lovers who say I will burn in hell, well, if my daughter becomes a teenage pregnancy statistic you’ll be saying, as well as the politician and the schools, the same thing.

In knowledge and truth there is education and direction, it’s that simple, but too many have complicated the hell out of it, as yet there still exists this paranoid stigma left over from the centuries of control; it’s practically a genetically inspired mental aptitude to do it wrong, a faulty component that refuses to be shed; time to remove it like a defective circuit from a machine desperately trying to shine into life. 

Moving on...

Like any Aspie I have my obsessions and one of them is anything erotic, I said erotic not pornographic, trust me there is a massively broad distinction between the two.  In truth I love the female form; I don’t like size zero models and I don’t like a woman who doesn’t look after herself, it’s a point of self respect I guess. But in saying that, even a larger lady can look sexy; I’ve always said; if you want to be beautiful and sexy then be nothing more than naked. 

I’ve maxed out an external hard drive with my collection of beautiful women, not for the glory of self pleasure or because I am some deluded sex maniac, but for the sheer appreciation of Mother Nature's best, even as an Atheist, Mother Nature should be revered as a deity, our world would be in greater shape if we did, however I digress! 

From head to toe women are beautiful; however, I have my preferences like any man does; I like bright eyes, no darker than hazel; I prefer ample breasts but shapely and meaningful as womanly, curves are essential, not too muscular and for god sakes I have no issue with a little bit of weight, it simply proves your human. In attire I prefer anything that accentuates curvature.  A scar means you have a story to tell, a defect proves you’re alive and Photoshop is the darkest enemy of reality.

A woman who is sexually confident with intelligence and a sense of responsibility is as alluring as a very fine wine over a luxurious meal in a top notch swanky restaurant where the celebrities nosh down perfection, however, they take it for granted, I don’t, a truly beautiful woman should be revered as a Goddess not some plaything for little boys to “get their end away” within. 

That whole, “corr, get agh loada of ‘er” thing really does nothing for me nor for the woman concerned, come on boys, try to be men, even in a world of Justin Bieber, lets at least try!

Upon the act of sex...

So now we get down to business as they say; the greatest pleasure on Earth, besides getting paid, is having sex, not the crude, cold empty fucking of porn stars or the drunken Friday evenings one night stand, but real, meaningful, sensual, arousing, full-on physical, sex. For me I wish to assassinate the toffee nosed poncy Middle English limp wristed moron who coined the phrase “Making Love!” Urgh, utter drivel of those destined to be forever virgin, I hate hate hate that term, it’s cringing, and inaccurate.

Mating, conjoining spirits, soul touching are just a few of my own terms; mating needs to always go hand in hand with the utmost of sensuality and any connection at all with your partner will do but there must be one; I always believe sex between best friends was a very beautiful and charitable affair, very giving and honest to nature, there’s nothing wrong with it.  

There is so much to consider that sex truly is rocket science and it takes real intellect to grasp even the basics.  For me, a woman’s body is an absolute nerve centre and an undiscovered country rolled into one; as sensitive as she may be so shall her partner be also so tend to the needs; now I appreciate this is sounding highly Heterosexual because that’s how I swing, however, in all these acts, be it Hetro’ or Homo’ the science and accordance is somewhat similar.

Even when undressing, hair to place behind her ear with a gentle finger, a kiss on her forehead, helps when you’re taller, but at 6 foot 1 this isn’t a problem for me personally. Compliment your partners beauty, take your time, she isn’t a Christmas present wrapped in thin paper, but a human being whose shedding her shielding. I am personally very Vanilla and feel rough sex is OK but only when the moment calls for it, so here I’ll take my time.

The naked skin of a woman is like the softness of warm sand between your toes, somewhere far away; sometimes I wish I had been born a Lesbian; there is sensuality in feminine skin as there is fruit’s in a forest.  Touch skin with fingers, lips and above all else, touch with each other, everywhere there can be a sensation of touch.

There is nothing more lovingly neutral than lying down, naked, together in the moment of caress, absolute biological equality should be allowed to tender further to feel and experience each other. 

 

Sexuality should never be thought of in utter extremes, colouring the grey in between the black and the white should be the utmost number one goal of any man or loving partner; I for one have always been more satisfied creating pleasure than receiving it; but then again, if that is so then I gain pleasure from creating it, so the equation is thus balanced out. 

Penetration...

It doesn’t matter if it is the vagina of a woman from a man’s penis or the anus of a man for his gay lover, or the lesbian fingers, strap-on and/or other penetrating instrument utilised; penetration of another’s body is absolute.  I think too many people do not understand the enormity of that situation; for me, as a man, inside a woman, means exactly that, the inside of the physical embodiment of another human being; can there be any other moment as incredible as that?

It is here that the most wonderful thing nature ever granted us in ability and practice comes into play; human sexual pleasure, the absolute binding force of the progression of the species which is for the homosapien, an absolute gift.  And that’s exactly how lovers should treat each other, like a precious gift. 

For me, my partner’s pleasure and fulfilment is the absolute goal of the whole exercise, inside a woman is the utmost practice of trust on my behalf and thus should be returned with respect and honesty.

Men listen up, when she says stop, you stop, when she says go faster, you go faster, when she says don’t stop, well, you have a mind for control, then control it and keep going.  This isn’t to assume of course that men in my view are obedient puppies; they have a part to play in this as well, by being men; I am of the old fashioned order of things and don’t believe in men wearing eye liner nor shaving their chests; men should be rugged, muscular, have hair and look like they can dig a road, work hard, earn an honest wage, carry the shopping and paint the house, when required to do so.

That same attitude applies in the bedroom, or the forest, the kitchen, the office, the beach or anywhere else; men should be hard, well erect, be meaningful and above all else make their presence felt, even when remaining gentle. If your partner wants you to be rough, aggressive and unrelenting than go for it, but always within reason and respect of rights.  

This is of course only my own personal perspective; I do not speak for all men, women and beasts and I know full well a good few who read this will be shaking their heads but many more I feel will agree to some extent. 

Remember the three R’s of great sex, Respect, Responsibility and Reality.  Once that equation has been achieved, there is a whole new world out there or right there within your partner.  

Sex is great, sex is absolutely wonderful, it is not a dirty word or something to giggle at but something to be practiced and indulged in. Education should say it like it is and always remain an open subject for discussion and debate; shying away from the inevitability of Mother Nature is dangerous and a fruitless practice.

Great sexual practice comes from just exactly that, practice!

Thank you for reading

VisionGhost©  

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