Saturday, 20 April 2013

Sex & Sexuality

Sex & Sexuality

This has been something I’ve wanted to write for a very long time but never really knew where to actually begin, as so much comes to mind, so logically I came up with the idea of the start to finish approach. This might take some time, I mean after all, who can actually remember when their pubes started growing from bald to full bush, anyone? No because one day you awoke and you suddenly required a Flymo...

For sex is something I take EXTREMELY seriously, I can’t even stand people making a joke out of sex, it’s immature and tedious in my opinion. Too many people do not grasp the greatness and wonder of the physical condition in a moment of an ultimate and absolute amalgamation.

As an Aspie I have differing views on most things simply because NT’s, herd around whatever sounds or feels good, often making a joke out of it or apply negative sentiment to something they cannot fathom or have the intellect to do so; however, I, as most Aspies do, I went the other way and wanted to look into this deeper, as a result I’ve done/seen things I regret but I’ve also enjoyed many more positive experiences and continue to do so. 

Where are we going wrong?...

Think about it, when did sex become truly liberated, in truth, it hasn’t, the “revolution” started in the late 1960’s and progressed happily throughout the 1970’s, the whole free love thing before becoming glamorous in the 80’s, utterly exploited in the 90’s and now here we are in the modern 21st century frankly confused and disorientated; we can’t even teach it properly in schools.

For one thousand, nine hundred and sixty odd year’s, religion, church and politics had a choke hold on sex. A bare ankle would put a priest into cardiac arrest and then the police would arrest the owner of said bare ankle for “indecent exposure,” oh sure, then arrest every baby ever born naked, we are most beautiful in our skin but fashion screwed that up too, but use sex appeal to sell their attire, somewhat there is a sense of irony in that.

So now here we are, sex is projected to the eyes, dumped into the cerebral cortex and into ones right hand; but speaketh, doeth and heareth of this is still a sin. We are albeit more liberated but frankly confused. A child can access a half naked Rihanna squealing about bondage but we cannot teach a child the sentiments of sexuality in the school he/she attends.

I think the problem is, that the revolution and demand for sexual liberation is happening far too fast and is far too powerful for church or politician to control, thus we have now, not a revolution, but an all out cold war on sex.  On one hand we have parents who come from a generation of control who can now fuck to all hours but are terrified of the thought of their offspring doing the same thing; a media that exploit sex every minute of every day while church and politicians tell us it’s wrong to view it but give free licence for its broadcast while schools treat the actual weapon against this confusion, which is of course, knowledge and education, as if their handling an unstable nuclear device.

When I was in my late teens, this debate about sex education in schools was brought up on the radio, they interviewed a 14yr old boy who said and I quote...
“They teach you how to do it but they don’t teach about all the pervy stuff!”  I thought to myself, that 14yr old kid has just hit the nail on the head.  
What do schools actually teach... say this in a mocking French accent and you’ll get the picture...
“When daa penus is ewect put on da condom and insert into da vadina, wocking motioon between da partner;, dis weel cos ejaack-a-lation, widwaw penus gripping condom!”  Oh please, that isn’t sex, that’s a ridiculously clumsy way to prevent unwanted breeding. 

In education, we need to say it like it is, which is when my ten year old daughter asks me what something is, she gets an honest answer; and for those who say that’s wrong and the god fearing church lovers who say I will burn in hell, well, if my daughter becomes a teenage pregnancy statistic you’ll be saying, as well as the politician and the schools, the same thing.

In knowledge and truth there is education and direction, it’s that simple, but too many have complicated the hell out of it, as yet there still exists this paranoid stigma left over from the centuries of control; it’s practically a genetically inspired mental aptitude to do it wrong, a faulty component that refuses to be shed; time to remove it like a defective circuit from a machine desperately trying to shine into life. 

Moving on...

Like any Aspie I have my obsessions and one of them is anything erotic, I said erotic not pornographic, trust me there is a massively broad distinction between the two.  In truth I love the female form; I don’t like size zero models and I don’t like a woman who doesn’t look after herself, it’s a point of self respect I guess. But in saying that, even a larger lady can look sexy; I’ve always said; if you want to be beautiful and sexy then be nothing more than naked. 

I’ve maxed out an external hard drive with my collection of beautiful women, not for the glory of self pleasure or because I am some deluded sex maniac, but for the sheer appreciation of Mother Nature's best, even as an Atheist, Mother Nature should be revered as a deity, our world would be in greater shape if we did, however I digress! 

From head to toe women are beautiful; however, I have my preferences like any man does; I like bright eyes, no darker than hazel; I prefer ample breasts but shapely and meaningful as womanly, curves are essential, not too muscular and for god sakes I have no issue with a little bit of weight, it simply proves your human. In attire I prefer anything that accentuates curvature.  A scar means you have a story to tell, a defect proves you’re alive and Photoshop is the darkest enemy of reality.

A woman who is sexually confident with intelligence and a sense of responsibility is as alluring as a very fine wine over a luxurious meal in a top notch swanky restaurant where the celebrities nosh down perfection, however, they take it for granted, I don’t, a truly beautiful woman should be revered as a Goddess not some plaything for little boys to “get their end away” within. 

That whole, “corr, get agh loada of ‘er” thing really does nothing for me nor for the woman concerned, come on boys, try to be men, even in a world of Justin Bieber, lets at least try!

Upon the act of sex...

So now we get down to business as they say; the greatest pleasure on Earth, besides getting paid, is having sex, not the crude, cold empty fucking of porn stars or the drunken Friday evenings one night stand, but real, meaningful, sensual, arousing, full-on physical, sex. For me I wish to assassinate the toffee nosed poncy Middle English limp wristed moron who coined the phrase “Making Love!” Urgh, utter drivel of those destined to be forever virgin, I hate hate hate that term, it’s cringing, and inaccurate.
Mating, conjoining spirits, soul touching are just a few of my own terms; mating needs to always go hand in hand with the utmost of sensuality and any connection at all with your partner will do but there must be one; I always believe sex between best friends was a very beautiful and charitable affair, very giving and honest to nature, there’s nothing wrong with it.  

There is so much to consider that sex truly is rocket science and it takes real intellect to grasp even the basics.  For me, a woman’s body is an absolute nerve centre and an undiscovered country rolled into one; as sensitive as she may be so shall her partner be also so tend to the needs; now I appreciate this is sounding highly Heterosexual because that’s how I swing, however, in all these acts, be it Hetro’ or Homo’ the science and accordance is somewhat similar.

Even when undressing, hair to place behind her ear with a gentle finger, a kiss on her forehead, helps when you’re taller, but at 6 foot 1 this isn’t a problem for me personally. Compliment your partners beauty, take your time, she isn’t a Christmas present wrapped in thin paper, but a human being whose shedding her shielding. I am personally very Vanilla and feel rough sex is OK but only when the moment calls for it, so here I’ll take my time.

The naked skin of a woman is like the softness of warm sand between your toes, somewhere far away; sometimes I wish I had been born a Lesbian; there is sensuality in feminine skin as there is fruit’s in a forest.  Touch skin with fingers, lips and above all else, touch with each other, everywhere there can be a sensation of touch.
There is nothing more lovingly neutral than lying down, naked, together in the moment of caress, absolute biological equality should be allowed to tender further to feel and experience each other. 

Sexuality should never be thought of in utter extremes, colouring the grey in between the black and the white should be the utmost number one goal of any man or loving partner; I for one have always been more satisfied creating pleasure than receiving it; but then again, if that is so then I gain pleasure from creating it, so the equation is thus balanced out. 


It doesn’t matter if it is the vagina of a woman from a man’s penis or the anus of a man for his gay lover, or the lesbian fingers, strap-on and/or other penetrating instrument utilised; penetration of another’s body is absolute.  I think too many people do not understand the enormity of that situation; for me, as a man, inside a woman, means exactly that, the inside of the physical embodiment of another human being; can there be any other moment as incredible as that?

It is here that the most wonderful thing nature ever granted us in ability and practice comes into play; human sexual pleasure, the absolute binding force of the progression of the species which is for the homosapien, an absolute gift.  And that’s exactly how lovers should treat each other, like a precious gift. 

For me, my partner’s pleasure and fulfilment is the absolute goal of the whole exercise, inside a woman is the utmost practice of trust on my behalf and thus should be returned with respect and honesty.
Men listen up, when she says stop, you stop, when she says go faster, you go faster, when she says don’t stop, well, you have a mind for control, then control it and keep going.  This isn’t to assume of course that men in my view are obedient puppies; they have a part to play in this as well, by being men; I am of the old fashioned order of things and don’t believe in men wearing eye liner nor shaving their chests; men should be rugged, muscular, have hair and look like they can dig a road, work hard, earn an honest wage, carry the shopping and paint the house, when required to do so.

That same attitude applies in the bedroom, or the forest, the kitchen, the office, the beach or anywhere else; men should be hard, well erect, be meaningful and above all else make their presence felt, even when remaining gentle. If your partner wants you to be rough, aggressive and unrelenting than go for it, but always within reason and respect of rights.  

This is of course only my own personal perspective; I do not speak for all men, women and beasts and I know full well a good few who read this will be shaking their heads but many more I feel will agree to some extent. 

Remember the three R’s of great sex, Respect, Responsibility and Reality.  Once that equation has been achieved, there is a whole new world out there or right there within your partner.  

Sex is great, sex is absolutely wonderful, it is not a dirty word or something to giggle at but something to be practiced and indulged in. Education should say it like it is and always remain an open subject for discussion and debate; shying away from the inevitability of Mother Nature is dangerous and a fruitless practice.

Great sexual practice comes from just exactly that, practice!

Thank you for reading




  1. Great post. Our social outlook on sex is, I think, unhealthy. Your views are well thought out and are eminently sensible. It's a shame more people don't think about things to the depth that you obviously do.

    1. Thank you so much, very much appreciated and thanks for stopping by.

  2. A very interesting read! It shocks me that people are so silly when it comes to sex. It's clear that most of us do it because humans haven't exactly been dying out ;P

    1. I've been saying that for year, the whole "how the hell do you think you got here?" scenario :o) Thanks for stopping by!

  3. A refreshing change to read something on the 'joys of sex' from a male perspective, that is not laced with graphic details of male penetration, Robin! I would agree that 'Sex' has been hijacked by commercialism and those in power who fear that if the masses got to realise the simple beauty of the act within all their grasps, gentle or otherwise, they would loose their financial/morale ability to control those masses. Of course you write from a male perspective, and this was evident in the articles weight of understanding from that perspective. From a woman's point of view of sex in a consenting relationship, what they like, need and appreciate from their partner, is a whole other article. Maybe I should write one? A good read, thanks for directing me!!lol Not literally!! hehe smiling at you, thinking humour has its place in the bedroom joy stakes, too!

    1. I've been saying that for year, the whole "how the hell do you think you
      got here?" scenario :o) Thanks for stopping by!

  4. Thanks for this insightful post. This was well thought out and written.