It
was not an hour after I opened my new blog about being an Aspie that I learned
the news on the theory that Adam Lanza had Asperger Syndrome; I recall a
feeling that my legs were going to go from under me and my heart sank,
not only were the media (without actually saying it) sensationalising this
persons psychological setup but also grabbing at straws to try and fathom how a
young man could create such devastation and death, without even the decency of
following it through with proper investigatory examination.
Now
unless you are a tribes man in the Amazon rain forest then by now I would have
thought that every person on Earth has heard of what happened, that 20 year old
Adam Lanza took it upon himself to murder his mother, then steal 3 of her
weapons, 2 pistols and a rifle, drive to Sandy Hook Elementary school in
Connecticut and proceed to wipe out 20 young children as well as 6 teachers. So
in all he murdered 27 people, an event of which will take many years for those
parents and local community persons to try and fathom if ever at all.
However,
one thing that certainly cannot be entertained is that those on the Autistic Spectrum
are indeed all violent or all have violent premonitions to wish to cause harm
to those around them. I am of the opinion that
if you segregate Aspies from the A-typical NT populous you’ll discover that
there are equally nice Aspies as there are bad ones, similar to NT’s, but of
course I am only loosely hypothesising.
Similar
to the way we can only assume Adam had AS was observed only by those around him, who
ever witnessed him in action of being alive, like all diagnosis's which are
obtain theoretically & posthumously it’s only guess work and in my view
rather unreliable.
So
with that out the way I wish to move onto the specific subject of this entry;
that is, to at least offer something in the way of a theory as to what caused a
bright, intelligent 20 year old, young man, to one day snap and cause
unprecedented carnage upon innocent lives.
Adam
did not just have Asperger syndrome, he also had a condition which meant he
could not ever feel pain; he had to be watched carefully as one man who looked
after Adam as a babysitter was told; “Never turn your back on him” not because
he would grab a knife and stick it in your back if you did, but purely for his
own safety; he wasn’t able to handle equipment without constant supervision
in case he caused injury to himself and wouldn’t be aware of it. Possibly
similar to a condition called CIPA (Congenital Insensitivity to Pain with
Anhidrosis) an inability to feel pain, heat or cold.
Adam
could have dropped a hammer on his toe, burnt his hand on the cooker reaching
down to pick it up, bang his head on the way up and never realise he’s hurt
himself. Imagine a world where you have
an incurable condition as to not being able to feel anything.
As
well as this; Adam was reported to walk in a fashion where as he would cling to
the walls and sides of the school corridor, clutching either a leather
briefcase or his laptop, whilst every other students would walk down the middle with
their fashionable bags/rucksacks with little or no care in the world, a far departed
principle that Adam could ever had recognised.
Why the briefcase, probably as it was square, where within items fitted
neatly into their place, if part of their routine Aspies will do that; I for
one have a strict routine of how I form an email in work, how I write data into
the CRM system, everything is squared and neat using the same shorthand
or code while I watch others write rampant paragraphs which to me I find
dazzling and sometimes ineligible.
This
behaviour, for Adam, did not go unnoticed and more than likely people would
have teased and mocked him for it, as is often the case, as almost all of those
on the Autistic Spectrum can tell a story or two about being bullied; I should
know, I’ve been there, many, many a time; I don’t have the scars of a broken
nose for nothing.
A
top of this Adam was a brilliant technician; one of the most intelligent
members of his schools Tech Club, again the classic of being an Aspie, finding
the one or two subjects that appeal and almost obsessively follow it showing
incredible knowledge and recognition toward that subject.
So
we have a young man, who can’t feel anything, afraid to be in open spaces such
as the middle of a corridor, kept to a strict order of going about his day and
yet be highly intelligent and gifted.
Your probably wondering where this is all going, I’m getting to it,
trust me.
As
if any of the above wasn’t enough, Adam’s mother was paranoid; in this case she
was Doomsday Prepper, a group of people that even in my view are complete
paranoid loonies. They believe that this world is soon to end and so thus make
these radical plans to stockpile goods, buy weapons, dig big holes and live in
a very security conscience environment. It is, as of yet, unclear how much Adam
was involved in this; his father had been out of his life completely for over 2
years and had witnessed a divorce losing one half of his parental family, being
left with the idea via maternity that his world was about to end and around him
was stockpiled supplies and weapons. As well as this, Adam’s mother wasn’t
happy with the school he was attending and was making plans to move; which
would only have served to heighten his paranoia as Aspie’s don’t do well with
change.
How
would Adam have felt? Paranoid? Afraid? Lonely? Isolated? Probably all things
without the socially accepted know how of how to express any of this and more.
Adam
didn’t just snap one day, there had been a build up of odd occurrences, he
withdrew deeper into himself, he wasn’t getting along with his mother and had
started to self injure, as if desperately trying to feel something, according
to a friend of Adam’s mother.
It
is here with this evidence that I think Adam lived in a world of almost
complete isolation, zero feeling, paranoia and not the means to communicate it
effectively enough to enable any sense of reprieve. A top this with the need for Adam to be
monitored by supervisors, this is a world I can imagine would have been a
nightmare.
I
think Adam was almost from day one of his; “life” was silently, deeply and
slowly being driven completely insane.
Unable to feel, unable to communicate in a socially acceptable manner,
unable to reach out, returning home to guns, stock piles and paranoia, a daily
theory the world was going to end, a highly gifted intelligent mind with a
brain that didn’t work correctly. It
would have been enough to break even the hardiest of us all.
As
to why he killed his mother, probably because he blamed her somehow, why did he
kill these children, probably because he wanted to wipe out the very thing he
never was nor could ever be – a normal happy loved child, why did he kill those
teachers, probably because he saw them as the start of all his unhappiness, his
sense of complete isolation and total lack of physical feeling.
Do
I feel sorry for Adam Lanza, yes I do, but we live in the world that would not
dare make a victim out of a killer, what Adam did was inexcusable and abhorrent
in the extreme, but not out of cold, calculated evil, but complete and utter
madness.
So
the question remains, did Asperger Syndrome cause Adam to become a raging, cold
blooded killer? Absolutely not, but did the world he lived in contribute along with all these other factors, oh
most certainly it did. The bottom line remains; everyone is a victim here in a
tragedy that I pray will never be forgotten. As also we have got to get good at
dealing with mental health issues; but that’s a blog for another day.
Thank
you for reading.
VisionGhost©
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VisionGhost©
http://facebook.com/visionghostpoetry
https://www.facebook.com/visionghost
http://twitter.com/visionghost
